Short Jokes & One-Liners

Here are some short, sweet, and funny jokes and one-liners to share!

Who can hit High C twelve times in a row without taking a breath? A soprano with the hiccups! 

What do diets and promises have in common? They're always being broken 

Why is noon like the letter 'A'? Because both are in the middle of 'DAY' 

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison 

Why did the suspenders go to jail? Because they held up a pair of pants 

What kind of button won't unbutton? A belly button 

Customer: 'Waiter, please bring me an omelet!'
Waiter: 'French or Spanish Sir?'
Customer: 'Who cares? I'm going to eat it, not talk to it!'

Why did Mozart sell his chickens? Because they kept saying: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!' 

The young police recruit was asked: 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' I would call for backup, Sir! 

What did the Llama say when he got kicked out of the Zoo? "Alpaca my bags!" 

What gives you the power to walk through a wall? A door! 

It is a wonder how a stadium gets so hot with so many fans!! 

What is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Children don't eat broccoli 

What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nach-o cheese! 

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the New York Times. Do you get it?
No?
Me neither, I get the Washington Post!

What did the stamp say to the envelope? We'll go places if you stick with me! 

What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!